I’ve been thinking about the marathon a lot. Wondering if I should try to run it, wondering if I would be able to run it. Thinking more and more that I would not be able to run the marathon next weekend, considering that I haven’t been able to be awake for more than half a day without needing to sleep and rest, and considering that just walking down the hill in my neighborhood and back makes my chest hurt quite a bit.
I came to peace with the best decision for me, possibly the only decision – I will not be running the marathon.
Initially, I was thinking that I would look for a marathon maybe two months out, and jump back into training from that point. But I came to another decision, one that is just as important for me. I was really getting burnt out on training. I was very much looking forward to the marathon being over so I could stop having such a regimented training schedule. I wanted my weekends back.
Right now, I can’t run the marathon, but also, I have lost the mental drive needed to really focus on marathon training. I decided I’m not going to actively train for any races right now. When I’m healed, I’m going to concentrate on hot yoga, and running, but running without a training program. Running when I want to, for as long as I want to. Running for fun again. I have some big things going on in my life right now, big in a good way, but I don’t have the capacity to focus on work, the big focus in my personal life, and additional marathon training.
The marathon training is on hold indefinitely, for now, but I know without a doubt I will run a marathon, and I will kick butt when I do run it. For now, my focus is back on just exercising for health and strength and great fitness.